Starting weight: not 237.5 but 242.
Had the drain taken out today. Good freaking god that felt SO WEIRD. It was like a snake uncoiling in my stomach. Hold up, here’s how it went down.
First the Resident that came in could not have been more than 24, bless his heart. A sweet little kid named Dr. Rios asked me a few questions, was polite to let me know it was going to be a few minutes, and was soft spoken. Really, as a mother, *I* was proud of him. Finally Dr. Kjorstad (Jor-stad) came in with Dr. Rios and took a look at my incisions, everything was fine. Then he says:
“Want to pull this out?”
“What? Whoa, him?” I look over at Dr. Rios and touched his arm. “Dude, really, it’s not that I don’t trust you, but there will be no learning on me today.”
“Learning is telling him how to do it and then leaving the room to let him do it.”
“Ok, there will be no “teaching” today.”
“It’ll be fine, go ahead, just let me cut the stitches.”
I covered my mouth and twisted my legs as Dr. Kjorstad (Jor-stad) cut my stitches. I felt a distinct snag and pain.
“Oh oops, sorry about that.”
I stare up at the ceiling light and half scream behind my hands in response.
“Ok, unplug it so there’s no suction and it doesn’t try to pull anything out with it.”
I scream behind my hand again.
“Then just pull. Go ahead. Pull.”
Then the most incredibly odd sensation happens.
In 2001 I got my belly button pierced, laying in much the same position. The guy caught me off guard and pierced me with a telephone pole, but really it was more shocking than anything. Then…it was over.
THIS WAS NOT LIKE THAT.
I felt the coil of rubber piping release and it felt like a snake unraveling its tightly wound up body, slithering along what I gathered was my now tiny stomach, large and small intestine, and whatever else the good lord put up in there. It lasted about 5 seconds, but it was enough for me to scream like an idiot behind both my hands covering my mouth.
“What…the hell…WAS THAT??” I finally scream.
“Are you ok?”
“Am I what? What was that? That was…oh god I’m going to throw up.”
Dr. Kjorstad (Jor-stad) laughed and said, “Are you really?”
“Blech….” I replied.
It took me a minute let the adrenaline to finish coursing through my body and dissipate, but I finally sat up with their help, got down onto the ground, and then smacked my doctor on the arm. “Seriously, you need to warn people about that!”
In any case, I’m cleared to drive, need to dial down my insulin, and made an appt for 3 weeks out. The sweet little Resident Dr. Rios pat me on the shoulder and happily told me to have a nice day.
Blergh.